titles are boring

So tomorrow's my brother's sixth birthday, and to celebrate this our family is going to this awesome waterpark. That will be fun, especially because I haven't gone to go anywhere decent in terms of amusement parks since third grade, seeing as around third grade my little brother was born and prevented us from doing that kinda thing. (Admittedly, had I taken orchestra, band, or choir in the past 2 years, I would've gotten an opportunity to.. but that's not the point.) So, that'll definitely be cool.

So, uh.. I'm listening to my whole music collection, shuffled, which I don't usually do (I tend to stick to playlists.) Yeah. Oh, and on Friday I hosted a sleepover that consisted of me and my 4 best friends. I hadn't seen any of them but one all summer, so that was fun. 'Course, a couple of them left stuff, but I'll be able to return said stuff at one of the friends' birthday part on the 7th.

So, uh.. yeah. I'm tempted to ramble on about some changes in one of my favorite sites, but no one would know what the heck I'd be talking about, so I'll shut it.

security in being unknown

So, let's see. Today my mom took me to the college that she went to. It's also the college that my grandpa and uncle went to, and I believe I want to go there as well. The legacy was very interesting. And my little group of friends is planning a sleepover sometime in the next two weeks, and I wonder if I'd be able to host because I never host, probably because my house is almost never that clean, except for birthday parties. And with my birthday party, I don't limit myself to this group of friends (yeah, I'm talking about da5). So.. yeah, I'd have to ask. And I dunno what my parents say. And I doubt anyone will care about this, but I guess that's why I blog. Because I can assure myself that only a few people will read this, while also being under the illusion that it's more glorified than a journal. I suppose I'd let out more secrets if I knew that no one that I know in real life would read this. But, seriously. I tweet about this blog, and I have friends who follow me on Twitter (not that they get on usually.) It appears in my Buzz feed. I've even put this as my website on Facebook (not that anyone looks at that.) But seriously, I can count the number of people who read this regularly on one hand. If I had 2 or 3 fingers removed.

Summer, Gloom and da5

i've been kinda excited for school to start. but now i don't want summer to end. because during the summer i have time to do things i want to do.

well, that's not specifically true. i was able to get online a lot last year during the school year, and the year before that. and i had plenty of time to read and listen to music and stuff.

i guess i'm just feeling a little depressed right now. i'm not sure really if depressed is the right word. let me rephrase. i'm just tired and gloomy and feeling critical about my art. also, i went on a site called aramii for the first time in forever. and i want to revamp my camp and stuff. but it's too late to get started and i think that tomorrow i will be too lazy to want to.

alssoo... so one of my friends is writing this story. she's been writing it for a whole year or so. the main characters are her and her four best friends, one of which is me. a kindof club has been created that revolves around it. it's called da5. but i'm kinda lonely. the others are so enthusiastic about it. but i'm not, really. the others have contributed to it and stuff, yet i really haven't. i haven't even read most of the story. a da5 sleepover is tomorrow. and weeks ago i promised myself i would bring the others gifts, because everyone else is kinda giving each other things and stuff.

and i knew what i would get them. i would draw them stuff! animals, i've decided. but i've been procrastinating and procrastinating and procrastinating. and i've only got one of their drawings done. and that drawing looks cartoonish and bleh. and what if they don't like their drawings? and what if i don't get it done?

i am a procrastinator extrordinare. i procrastinate on homework lots and lots and i don't feel guilty about it usually. and i told myself that this would happen if i didn't work on their drawings, that it would be the last minute and i wouldn't have it done. and i let it happen. and i didn't really promise anyone anything or even hint at it. so if i didn't bring anything, they would never know.

but I would know. and i would be guilty and and and

;_;