Summer, Gloom and da5

i've been kinda excited for school to start. but now i don't want summer to end. because during the summer i have time to do things i want to do.

well, that's not specifically true. i was able to get online a lot last year during the school year, and the year before that. and i had plenty of time to read and listen to music and stuff.

i guess i'm just feeling a little depressed right now. i'm not sure really if depressed is the right word. let me rephrase. i'm just tired and gloomy and feeling critical about my art. also, i went on a site called aramii for the first time in forever. and i want to revamp my camp and stuff. but it's too late to get started and i think that tomorrow i will be too lazy to want to.

alssoo... so one of my friends is writing this story. she's been writing it for a whole year or so. the main characters are her and her four best friends, one of which is me. a kindof club has been created that revolves around it. it's called da5. but i'm kinda lonely. the others are so enthusiastic about it. but i'm not, really. the others have contributed to it and stuff, yet i really haven't. i haven't even read most of the story. a da5 sleepover is tomorrow. and weeks ago i promised myself i would bring the others gifts, because everyone else is kinda giving each other things and stuff.

and i knew what i would get them. i would draw them stuff! animals, i've decided. but i've been procrastinating and procrastinating and procrastinating. and i've only got one of their drawings done. and that drawing looks cartoonish and bleh. and what if they don't like their drawings? and what if i don't get it done?

i am a procrastinator extrordinare. i procrastinate on homework lots and lots and i don't feel guilty about it usually. and i told myself that this would happen if i didn't work on their drawings, that it would be the last minute and i wouldn't have it done. and i let it happen. and i didn't really promise anyone anything or even hint at it. so if i didn't bring anything, they would never know.

but I would know. and i would be guilty and and and

;_;